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OHN wrote his 3rd letter to a man named Gaius. John said that he had a prosperous soul (3rd John 1:2). This is because he had the truth in him (vs. 3). And the presence of truth in him was evidenced by the fact that he was known for his hospitality to other Christians (vs. 5-6). So, there was plenty to compliment in this man's spiritual life. But that wasn't the main thrust of John's letter.
It appears that John simply wanted to encourage Gaius not to let his hospitable tendencies eclipse his spiritual judgment. So, John mentions a couple of men as case examples, so to speak, in order to clarify that some men simply can't be trusted. The 2 men John mentions are Diotrephes & Demetrius (vs. 9 & 12). Diotrephes was evidently a man with much selfish ambition & no hospitality. Demetrius was just the opposite. So, John exhorted Gaius to follow good things, & to accept godly men. He was supposed to be very cautious with religious rebels though (vs. 9 - 11). Gaius had to be on guard.
I suppose the dilemma here is not so much the need to be able to tell good men from evil men, but to be able to differentiate between evil men who are our mission field & evil men who are our opponents. They are to be treated differently you know. Jesus interacted regularly & kindly with "publicans & sinners" – so much so that he was accused of being like them; of being one of them. On the other hand, Jesus treated the religious leaders of His day with strong & hostile language. And there was actually a third group too: a group of loyal disciples.
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